How to find answers to things you do without knowing?



Something I picked up from a leadership course I did, when you have to get to root cause and how things are working. Known as the 5 whys’s (link above).

You ask 

‘why is x like this? why is this happening like that?’.

I’ve come to use it every time I’m journaling, whenever I write something without a concrete idea on why it happen I ask the 5 why’s.

As per a dear friend suggestion, Chiara (link to her project/work WAMI above),  my example is about a time I was watching Friends everyday. It was my ‘comfort series’, but I was watching it way too much. So I used the 5 why’s.

 am I watching so much?
      - Because its my favorite series.

? 
      - It makes me laugh, I like the characters and makes me feel safe.

?
      - I think its because I know the whole plot, the beginning, the ending and makes me not think about anything else.

 is that important now?
      - Well, I’m stressed over work.

 is it stressing you so much?
      - I’m not making enough progress on the task I’m in, and I feel guilty about it.

In this case, I was escaping from a feeling that I haven’t realised I had. 

So, I made a plan on how to approach that guilt, talk to my team and get help to finish it, problem solved.

Well, you get the idea, try to answer it truthfully with the first thing that comes to mind, the further you get with it, the closest to root cause of this you are.

You discover a lot about yourself if you question the why’s of things, have you ever tried asking yourself that?

Getting to the why of you

The feeling of disconnection, even when you are surrounded by people.
Like you are close to a real connection, but far at the same time.

I have only felt it once, or at least only once in a way that stayed with me.

A bar had opened near my house, and I decided it was as good a day as any to go by myself. The place was full, mostly students, drawn in by opening discounts.

Usually, I would say this kind of situation is a great opportunity to meet people.
But all I felt was loneliness.

Everyone was in their own small groups, their own conversations, their own stories.
And I was just outside of all of it.

I could have started a conversation with anyone.
But it felt like they all belonged somewhere already, and I did not.

I did not want to risk that small, quiet embarrassment.

So I got a beer, drank it, and went home.

It never happened again in quite the same way, but even now, I still find it hard to go to places alone where I do not know anyone.

Have you ever felt alone in a sea of people?
How do you handle it?

Surrounded but alone

Why returning to a paused project often feels heavier than starting something new

Starting something new is always exciting, but when it stops, picking up where I left off feels heavy.

When I pause a book, a project, a hobby… returning is harder than beginning.


It’s the feeling of having many steps before I can truly move forward: - Finding where I stopped - Getting the mindset back - Remembering details
One small thing after another, the load keeps stacking.


Returning to something you stopped is pressure—at least that’s how it feels to me.
That’s why I leave behind so many half-finished books, projects, hobbies, and so on...
Not because I didn’t care, but because going back simply felt too heavy.



For now, I’m trying to start small—writing tasks down so they get out of my head and fighting the urge to quit.
It’s a process of easing back in, step by step, rather than forcing a sudden leap.

---



Is it something you also go through? How do you deal with it?

The Heavy Weight of Coming Back

How changing the way you speak can change everything

A few words can shift your mood, shape your habits, and change your whole day.



Have you ever received a compliment so unique that it stuck with you?
Once, someone I didn’t know told me that they liked my shirt. It was such a small thing, but it made me feel great. That shirt instantly became my favorite, I started wearing it all the time.

Just like kind words can lift you up, harsh ones can bring you down and stay with you for years. One day, I realized something: This didn’t just happen with what others said to me. It also happens with what 

.

And I hadn’t been paying attention to that at all.


“I’m [X] years old. I should know this by now.”

But those thoughts didn’t help me. They didn’t move me forward. They just made me feel behind and disappointed. So I started changing them, slowly.


That small change removed the pressure and guilt. It turned shame into curiosity. It made me feel hopeful instead of stuck. And once I did that, I started doing more, enjoyed it, and started to see progress. My goal felt achievable and closer.

You can’t change the past—but you can change how you talk to yourself now.

Would I talk to a friend the same way I talk to myself?

Because here’s the truth:
There are already enough critics in the world, don’t let your own voice become one of them.

The power of words

Everything starts with a first step, a small one.

Sometimes you’re eager to start something in a big way, to make up for lost time, or to get faster to the result you want. But in my experience, that only brings anxiety and frustration.

Small steps are the key to consistency, at least for me.

Starting something new is always complicated, especially when it pushes you far outside your comfort zone. I tend to create excuses for myself: why I’m not good enough, or why it’s not perfect yet, instead of simply accepting that it takes time and effort.

But lately, I’ve been getting better at starting things. Trying to go smaller. Dividing things. Especially when it’s something I want to turn into a habit.<br>

(Atomic Habits is a great book on this — I’ll include it in the recommendations.)

In Brazil, we have something called **“enemies of the end”** — people who stay until the very end of things, and never want them to be over.So I decided to call this first post a **"friend of the beginning"** — a term for people who are learning to start.

People who are finally doing things they’ve always wanted to try, or exploring something new.

People who don’t fear frustration, and trust they’ll get there eventually.

This blog is a beginning for me, a way of sharing my thoughts, which originated in my morning walks, that originated on other first steps, like journaling and exercising. It’s a kind of snowball effect: the more you start, the easier it gets.

I hope these posts helps someone, or at least makes a few people stop and question life a little. Looking forward to know what you think!

Thoughts

Getting to the why of you

Surrounded but alone

The Heavy Weight of Coming Back

The power of words

A friend of the beginning